Sarah

Journey

Why call cancer treatment a journey

That just makes me want to scream and shout

Call it what it is

A screw up for your life

A journey is fun and exciting, cancer is definitely not that

It is an abomination, that constantly sows fear and doubt

A never-ending piece of sadness

That you will carry for all your future life

Because even if you beat it

There is always that niggling worry

What if Pandora’s box opens again

And what if next time you don’t make it.

So don’t call my cancer treatment a journey

It diminishes the hell that I have been through

It as a chapter in my book of life

Moving on from page to page

Never forgotten, but hopeful for a better ending.

The tree of life is full of change
Moving through the seasons
From bud and leaf, to fruit and flower
It gives you reason to pause and reflect
Cry tears of joy, and screams of regret.

Roots

There is a sacred bond between humans and nature

A circle of life that is like a beating heart

Nature is alive, beautiful and unforgiving

Tree roots take hold, providing strength and nutrition

A breeze from the wind, sending seeds to pastures new

Letting flowers grow, into something true.

Taken from nature, and thrown in to hell

People are talking, about ringing a bell

Your heart beats faster at the words that you hear

All that you feel, is fear, fear, and yet more fear

There is a question, what does this mean?

Do my roots carry, a faulty gene?

Through the seasons you travel, you are stronger and weaker

Your buds try to bloom, but stop early due to the gloom

The lion in you rages from afar, unable to roar up to the stars

Your body feels like writhing snakes

As you get given a poison that makes your heart break.

You mourn for the loss of things that were to come

The vision of life, that is altered forever

A love of your life, now nowhere near

Who would want something broken beyond repair

A baby that will remain an eternal seed

Destined to travel and bloom to someone who can bleed

There is a sacred bond between humans and nature

But sometimes that feeling of being all at sea

Is because the circle skips a beat

And shows you, it’s not quite complete.

The Look

If anyone else tells me

“You’re looking so well”

I cannot be held responsible

For the actions that might occur

Because those words,

Which to you sound so innocuous

Diminish the fact

That underneath the mask

I look and feel like hell.

Instead ask me

“How are you doing”

And don’t be surprised

If the answer is not what you were expecting.